700 Years of Solitude

Trapped in a lonely wasteland for an eternity. Watching a movie over and over, just to remember what it's like to FEEL something.

That's my fucking life, PIXAR. You assholes.

FWIW, I think WALL-E is a pretty brilliant movie until the robot finds someone to love. That's where it starts to feel far-fetched to me. That's where you lose me.

How about THIS ending:

WALL-E spends another 700 years completely alone as all his friends get married and move to Brooklyn and start having kids.

"Honey, why don't we invite WALL-E over this weekend? It's been like a hundred years since we've seen him."

"I love how he says his own name and cries when he watches musicals. Puts a smile on my face. Really cheers me the fuck up."

"A'right, lemme text that little dirtbag, see if he's free..."

If anyone needs me, I'll be in Central Park, squashing trash into little cubes.