Rap'd

Check it: a little sneak preview of the next big water cooler sensation...

Since Punk'd is over, television needs a new celebrity prank show.

My show's called "Rap'd". We get a van full of actors nobody really knows (it'd spoil the gag!), and we send them out to sexually assault different celebs...

Once the celebrity's thoroughly defiled, we send a camera crew racing in and our host—the inimitable Rip Torn—charges at them and screams our catchphrase:

"YOU JUST GOT RAP'D!!!"

Cut to:

Sheepish celebrity being forced to confess into the camera:

"I-I'm Tara Reid... a-and I just got Rap'd..."

or

"I'm Zach Braff and I just got... really badly Rap'd... can someone give me a ride home...?"

or

"I'm Tobey Maguire and I didn't believe it could happen to me but I just got f---ing RAP'D! I'm gonna get you back, Leo!"

I'm talking to HBO and SHOWTIME right now. Got a bulk order of baseball caps printing up as we speak.

In other news, HOLY SHIT!