Absence of M. Alice

a friend of mine from work got "terminated" last night. it's all right, he'd been trying to get canned for nearly a year, it's more surprising he'd lasted this long. still, it's always jarring. the manager on my shift came up to me this morning, mentioned she knew that i "talked" with this guy (i guess she didn't want to assume we were actual "friends"). she gave me the news, claimed ignorance about the details and warned me not to let him in the building. (as if he would ever want to come back here.) today, he's checking into unemployment.

i guess not having money to pay the bills is worse on the soul than being stuck at a shitty job, but it's terrible how those things inform each other. the things that comfort and nourish you (the cds, the dvds, the books, the computer upgrades, the dining out, the movie tickets, the vacation trips... not to mention the rent...) are paid for by the thing that crushes your soul. i don't mean to get all fight club here, but it's a terrible cycle.

my personal goal is to get paid doing something where i don't have to go to someone else's office day-in, day-out. i know i've been wailing about quitting my job for years now, but i fear i'm coming to the end of my patience with these sort of jobs in general.