if we could see tomorrow, what of your plans...

It's a little past 4am, monday mourning.

 

Carla just left for the airport.  6am flight to Honolulu, to bury her grandfather.  He passed away earlier today.  Sunday.  The 15th.

 

I woke up early, headed into the city and bought her an iPod @ J&R while she was sleeping.  She'd been really wanting one for a while.  I'd been wanting to get her one but just couldn't scrape it together in time for Xmas or her birthday.  She's got a lot of traveling to do the next few days and I just wanted to offer her some bit of comfort.  I feel bad that I couldn't go with her but it's a journey she probably needs to take on her own.

 

We spent the better part of the day loading albums onto her iTunes playlist.

 

What a grim time it is.  Tragedy upon tragedy.  It makes this reading of mine seem all the more absurd.

 

The house seems so empty without her.  Absurdly too big for just me.

 

She'll be back Thursday, jetlagged & strung out.  I'm glad she'll be surrounded by family.  I feel this awful mix of sadness and guilt that I never got to meet him.  I've never even been to Hawaii.

 

I don't know if I believe in a "god" or an "afterlife"... but times like these, I have to believe in something...