NYC Foodie Odyssey

Since I've got a little more time before my next soul-sucking day-job gig starts, I decided to hit up some NYC foodie destinations I been reading about.

First up, Chef Alvin Cailan has this ultra-decadent version of your basic breakfast egg sandwich that he's been selling to Los Angelenos under the banner of "EGGSLUT". I stumbled on a few videos depicting this thing:



And then I discovered that supposedly he'd brought this thing to NYC. So I skipped the subway (because I'm saving those precious metrocard swipes) and took a leisurely walk from midtown to SoHo early Thursday morning in search of one of these eggy wonders...

I got to the location and first up, confusingly, the venue wasn't called "EGGSLUT" but "CHEFS COUNTER CLUB". And they were no longer selling "eggsluts" because apparently that was just a temporary "egg sandwich residency", but Chef Cailan and left behind some "egg plates" that people could try. So I had this Chef Plate:



Nothing outrageous. Delicately poached egg atop a thick slice of wheat toast with a layer of ricotta cheese. Side of thick cut bacon. And I added these hash brown / tater tot things.

It was very good. Certainly fancier than any breakfast I'd had in a while. But not necessarily something I'd go out of my way to re-experience.

(The venue itself was pretty nice with plenty of seating, and it was kind of set up like a Shake Shack where you place your order and they give you a pager.)

Next on my food list: THE IMPOSSIBLE BURGER.



I stumbled on this the same way I'd stumbled on the "eggslut" — found a video while tumbling down a YouTube rabbit hole. The Impossible Burger is a new synthetic meat that's the cutting edge of fake meat. It includes "HEME" which resembles and acts like blood, but it's extracted from beets or something. They're ramping up production of this thing so it's not quite ready to be purchased at your local supermarket but they've been selling them to key restaurants around the country, entrusting chefs to introduce the public to this food in (they hope) the best possible manner.

A quick search informed me that one of the places they were selling it in NYC was a Momofuku restaurant in Chelsea.

So, I headed back north from SoHo, making a little pit stop at a NY Sports Club to work off some of my breakfast on the way.



Treated myself to this tiny gin-drink that was made to taste like an orange cream soda. ($10 for this! But it was tasty.)



And this was the Impossible Burger at Momofuku!



Nothing too fancy. Relatively thin patty with a decent crust. Lettuce, tomato, some lightly flavored mayo. Side of shoestring fries that were basic but fine.



And look at how this thing "bleeds"!

But how's it TASTE...?

LIKE SHIT.

Okay, let me back that up.

You can find tons of videos online of people eating this new meat (not necessarily from Momofuku, mind you) -- vegans, vegetarians, hardcore carnivores -- and the majority of the reactions are overwhelmingly positive. Like "I can't believe this is made from plants!"

Oh, but I believed it was made from plants, all right.

Perhaps worse, it was clear that Momofuku's Chef David Chang had chosen to season the Impossible Burger with MSG. I know that MSG isn't explicitly bad for you -- that's been largely debunked -- but it has a VERY distinct taste and it overpowers the flavor of the thin patty they're offering. As if he didn't trust this new meat to stand on its own.

It's just not very good. I'd rate this lower than a McDonald's hamburger, which also doesn't taste like regular meat but doesn't taste as *off* as this. This should have been at least up to the standard of a disposable fast food burger. I'd choose any number of veggie burgers before getting another Momofuku Impossible Burger.

That said, the company that makes it says it's a work-in-progress and they're continuing to develop new alternatives. And I'm pretty sure there are better ways to cook this "meat" than the way that Momofuku is making it. So I'm not counting it out completely. But the offering I had certainly isn't going to convince any meat-lover that this will be a suitable replacement.

And th-th-th-that's my post!