Three Days in Siberia
Paid extra for an overnight... but since the order was placed on a Sunday, "overnight" became "two days".
I ended up being without a phone for about three days in total. That's the longest I've been without a working phone in YEARS.
The replacement they sent me didn't include a new battery or even a back cover. A label on the phone exclaimed, "REFURBISHED - LIKE NEW".
For now, it's working. We'll see how long this lasts.