Thursday, August 01, 2013

Post-Millennial Tension

It was posted in the craigslist ad and I specifically discussed it with the millennial subletter when we met two month ago. This was an apartment where we "don't bring the party home". He agreed with this, downplaying the idea that he occasionally might bring a friend or two over. He had an internship in the city for the summer. Most of the people responding to the ad were millennials with summer internships. His mom was paying for his stay here and he'd even agreed to pay $50 above the craigslist quote for the room.

His look: schlubby, slightly nervous, poor ability to establish eye contact. Not Mr. Party Central.

And, for a good stretch, he was fine.

Until he started pushing the envelope.

Last Friday, I was changing some lightbulbs in the kitchen when the door opens and Subletter walks in with one of his buddies -- who's got a backpack and a suitcase. Subletter ducks into his room without even a hello, but his friend walks up to me and introduces himself.

Now, the previous weekend, he'd also had a friend come crash on the couch for a night. No permission asked, no heads-up given. They were looking for apartments and I let it slide. Was this going to be a regular thing now?

Jump to Friday night. I'm staying in, trying to finish writing this new script I've been working on, and I start to hear voices outside my bedroom door. More than two. More than three.

After an hour or so, there's a knock on my door. It's Subletter, asking if I know how to turn on the stereo in the living room. Then he invites me to have a drink with his friends.

He invites me to have a drink in my own living room.

I'm annoyed. I'm pissed.

But I don't want to be THAT GUY, so I join them for a few drinks and try to make conversation... until it bores me to death. So I go to my room and try to keep writing my script (ironically, called "PARTY"), but I leave my door open as a reminder that I'm still here. And they invite MORE people and now there's maybe 10 or 12 people mingling in my apartment, with music going, and I'm listening to these air-headed millennial girls talk LOUDLY among themselves about their promiscuous habits, and their first jobs, and their picks for the best neighborhoods in the city to live. And all the conversations sound so outrageously inane.

Saturday night, I go out drinking to celebrate a good friend's birthday. I get home around 3am and there are a bunch of millennial guys in my living room, doing fuck knows what. I nod to them in acknowledgement before retiring to my room.

Wake up Sunday morning and there are three or four guys passed out on the couch.

Throughout Sunday into the early evening, the uninvited millennial klan do not stray very far from the apartment for very long. I had to wait to use the bathroom because my fucking Subletter had turned the apartment into a goddamn millennial hostel.

Suffice it to say, admonishments were given when the weekend ended. It looks like I've got another month with the millennial, though it was originally supposed to be just two more weeks. Zero tolerance now that official warnings have been given.

I don't know if it's specifically The Millennials who are insufferable, or if it's every generation of kids who've just graduated from college. Maybe the ones who graduate from shittier colleges are particularly insufferable...?

But no -- it's The Fucking Millennials.

I would like to make enough money to not have to deal with this sort of bullshit anymore.


Anonymous fedup890 said...

Where they hot? Cumshot surprise bitch! Welcome to New York City!

8/01/2013 08:48:00 AM  
Blogger M. Alice said...

I would have mentioned it in the description if they were hot!

8/01/2013 09:07:00 AM  
Anonymous fedup890 said...

And that is the saddest part of this whole entry...

8/01/2013 09:10:00 AM  

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