Thursday, December 08, 2011

Face in the Crowd

It sucks to network when you are powerless. Yes, this is the week of Misanthropy Central where we wallow in failure. When I am sucking at life, I do not feel like meeting new people. Or old people. Or people. I've a hard time conjuring up the energy to reframe my struggles in a positive light. I don't want to be seen. I'd rather remove myself from the population until I can get my affairs in order.

I want someone to be familiar with my work without having to look it up online.

This is not an ego thing. For my career to function on a basic level, my work needs to achieve a certain level of visibility. Sure, there are a lot of screenwriters who've been paid very handsomely without any of their scripts actually getting greenlit. I'm not even there. In my 5 years doing this professionally, I've failed to land any Open Writing Assignments. Which is the big reason I shifted focus to creating new original work.

And still, it always turns into this interminable waiting game.

What's worse: in my head, I always thought, "It's all just a matter of time..." Recently, the thought has turned into, "What if it *isn't* a matter of time...?" That's one thought I cannot entertain. To me, that would be death. Life would be nothing without this dream.


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