Dead Pool

I went to a pool party in Jersey last weekend and was making small talk with this regular civilian (not in the business) -- older guy. I wasn't even looking for any kind of advice, I was just making small talk, explaining how I'd moved to a shittier apartment to save some cash during my lean period. And he was all like, "Hey, you try it, you do what you can, you know? And if it doesn't work out, maybe think about doing something else..."

And I got so fucking pissed off. Like, who is this asshole? But he was nobody. He was just some guy talking to a young(er) guy, trying to offer something. A guy who would never be able to appreciate how this has DEFINED MY LIFE since I was a child.

I don't know. It's impossible to explain to some people. I'm doomed to be a writer. There's so much I want to do, so many people I need to pay back, so many people I want to help out when I can. I just feel like this is what I need to be doing right now. And sometimes I find it impossible to relate to people who don't understand what it's like to have this sense of nihilistic urgency.