Hijacking Hollywood

I try to resist trashing movies on this here blog because I know that one day I'll have my own movies trashed on other blogs. (If I'm lucky.) And I would definitely resist trashing some indie movie made by struggling, starry-eyed unknowns trying to make a name for themselves because I understand the struggle first-hand. And yet I'm breaking my code for this little indie P.O.S. from 1997 called "Hijacking Hollywood". (Hardly anyone reads this blog, especially on weekends, so that is the consolation.)

Why did I watch this?

It was on cable. The description—"a lowly production-assistant/wannabe-filmmaker tries to break through in Hollywood"—sounded a little disconcerting but it had a "3 star" average rating. And it starred "Elliott" from E.T.!

I wasn't a big fan of 1994's "Swimming with Sharks", which this movie seems inspired by. Both play as masturbatory revenge daydreams.

Here's the take-home:
a) being an assistant sucks.
b) everyone's a backstabbing asshole in the entertainment industry.
c) you need to become a backstabbing asshole to climb the ladder in the entertainment industry.

While I wasn't a fan of "Sharks", "Hijacking" is its far uglier, far dumber, far unfunnier offspring.

Thing is, I can't seem to find very many bad reviews of "Hijacking Hollywood". I know that 1997 was a long time ago but this seems to be one of the worst reviews I could find and it suggests that the movie is "sometimes funny".

This movie is NEVER funny.

It is written and directed by Neil Mandt, who also happens to co-star in the movie. He manages to do all three extremely poorly. A triple-non-threat. (Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson may feature prominently in the poster, but his role isn't that major. I guess the marketing folks were just trying to exploit Scott Thompson's massive box office appeal.) The whole thing plays like a shitty student film with greater ambitions. It thinks it's being an endlessly clever black comedy when all of its comedy is DOA.

Maybe 1997 was a far more innocent time. A pre-9/11 world where some audiences actually gave a fuck about the struggles of aspiring filmmakers. Now it just seems like complete and utter wankery.

A movie like this is NOT funnier "if you're inside the business". Nor should it be a requirement to be in the industry in order to enjoy a movie like this. It's not a home movie.

I can be as cynical as the next guy but I do not subscribe to the popular bitter-man's thesis that you've got to be a ruthless, douche-bag scoundrel in order to get anywhere in the film industry.