Gym Slut

Hitting the gym is probably the shittiest drug out there:

It's really hard to form the habit. And it's super-easy to quit.

But hey... the shit works. It gets you real high.

I had to dig a third notch into my belt the other day. I'm aiming to look like a skeleton in time for Halloween.

Stop bellyaching, bellyachers. I'm fine. I ain't sick. I ain't dying. I mean, we are all dying, every day, but you know what I mean. I'm probably dying just as fast as all of you.

(Maybe a smidge faster.)