malice who?

i was at the movies yesterday with whatsisface and i saw a trailer for the new albert brooks film, "looking for comedy in the muslim world". i've seen this trailer before, but for some reason it clicked that i knew the girl in it! i didn't really know her, but she was in the scholars program with me in college and we went to italy one year, and i had this massive fucking crush on her. of course, i was so chickenshit back then, i didn't say anything to her.

what's worse? i went to get advice from a friend on that trip, and the friend thought i had a crush on HER, and SHE started to "let me down easy" before i clarified that i didn't have a crush on her. the fact remained, i was getting rejected from girls i wasn't even going after...

what's even worse? the girl i did have a crush on has a major role in the new albert brooks movie. eli roth has a hit horror movie out. and i'm struggling to finish writing a play that maybe 10 people will see.

i'd scream, but i don't think anyone would hear me.

(p.s. i think i might have cancer.)