eff fridays (eff them *sweetly*)

taxes are IN, suckas! take that, USA! eat it and puke!

woke up 'round a quarter to 11 today. out to the local postal by 11:30. barely a line at all. $9 and some change for certified mail. dropped by the gym for some "me time". treated myself to one of those chair massages at the park on the way back home. (tried to get a "happy ending" but the dude didn't seem to understand what i wanted...) what a perfectly fruity day!


hippo critical
i was thinking about the whole "asian american artistic community" today. how it seems cool at first, until you realize it's all fucked up. hypersensitive and hyper-insensitive at the same time, so everyone ends up fucking each other up. fighting for silly causes, then wearing racist epithets as ironic badges as they march around with chips on their shoulders. oh, and they put up some pretty shitty theater along the way...

i was having drinks with burno and the meowking last night. burno gets a few beers in him and starts trying to get a rise outta me by making some cracks about filipinos speaking spanish and being colonized. (when burno gets a little booze in him, he turns into a regular don rickles...)

the thing is, i know he was just trying to provoke a reaction out of me, but i wasn't provoked or offended. i was trying to think why, and i think it's because i have so little personal connection to my cultural/ethnic background. my connection to my immediate family is shockingly thin. i rarely see them and i certainly never see any extended family. i harbor a remarkable ignorance and disinterest in my roots. you get treated like shit by enough idiots and assholes over the years, it doesn't exactly instill a desire to get closer.

i don't mean to imply that burno represents "The Community". (i do mean to imply that burno represents don rickles.) i just think this is the biggest reason i have difficulty integrating into this community. a community that promises "representation". what if i don't feel compelled or qualified to speak for "my people"? i certainly doubt they'd want me to speak for 'em. it's certainly not what interests me.

i've got to get out of the fucking ghetto... there's no future in it...