lost in the garden of eden

holed up in the fortress. it certainly looks cold outside. inside, it's just cold in my heart.

people see me smile, they think i'm "happy". i don't get this. it happened twice at my birthday the other week. rest assured, if you witness me smiling, it indicates i'm stunningly depressed.

i didn't have cake or blow out any candles on my birthday. as silly as it sounds, i don't think i've ever gone without blowing out candles on my birthday. i hear if you don't blow out candles on your birthday, it's 17 years bad luck. at least, that's what my parents always warned me.

life just gets worse and worse as it goes on, doesn't it?