Spoiler Island

Spoiler Alert: Rob Mariano Has Shitloads of Money!

Forget about him winning the grand prize AND the fan favorite prize for this latest edition of SURVIVOR. He's been in a shit-ton of reality shows since his first Survivor appearance, including a fucking paranormal investigation show. All his weeping over being able to shovel more money into his family coffers?!

I'm calling it the worst season of SURVIVOR ever. At least in terms of anything exciting/surprising happening. Nobody played the game except for Rob. Nobody fought for that million dollars except for Rob. Unacceptable!

Well, at least Rob will have a little more pocket money while he's shooting his new HISTORY CHANNEL travel show "Around the World in 80 Ways". Good for him.

Russell Hantz Has a Posse (on Survivor)

It finally happened. Episode 4 of "Survivor: Redemption Island", Russell Hantz's third season playing SURVIVOR, the berserker met the executioner's ax.

He bulldozed through to the end of his first season. Miraculously.

It shouldn't have worked again, but he bulldozed through to the end of his second season, playing amidst vets.

I've marveled at this guy's ability to play the game. His weakness has been his inability to switch up his gameplay. There was something anticlimactic about how he got tossed off this season. The season was advertised as "ROB VERSUS RUSSELL" and Russell's now gone only 4 episodes in. [SPOILER ALERT, by the way.] The first time they only brought back TWO people who'd played the game before. And very quickly, one of them is out. I was really hoping for a bigger end for him.

Rob, on the other hand, proves that he really is a master at this game. Whereas Russell didn't bother concealing the fact that he was hunting for the immunity idol, Rob took care to cover his tracks. Why wouldn't you do that?! Making up a story about being constipated in order to safely excuse himself for an extended stretch of time was perfect.

A shame to see Russell go like that.

Let's see you play this to the end, Boston Rob. It's all you, now.

Gorilion Rising

The ROB VERSUS RUSSELL edition of SURVIVOR plows ahead and Phil the Former Special Agent continues to try to out-crazy Coach the Dragonslayer. His explanation of his gorilla and lion tattoos makes me realize that I need to come up with some more batshit explanations for my own tattoos. How long can the GoriLion possibly last...?

But that's neither here nor there. Did you realize that Jeff Probst has a blog?

Excerpt from his blog entry for the first episode:

HOURS BEFORE THE START...

I took my boombox, yes I still have a boombox, and I gathered the Survivors around me in a circle. They still couldn’t talk because the game hadn’t yet started. I then put on LOSE YOURSELF by Eminem. I blasted it from the speakers. I had the words printed on a sheet of paper. I went from one person to another singing the song.. well talking the song… well actually just basically screaming the song. I wanted them to feel the energy I felt – that we were sitting on the edge of something really special.

Jesus. I'm sure he's a nice guy in person but Probst does NOT come off well online. Online, he comes across as David Brent. Can you imagine Jeff Probst pretending to be Eminem, forcing a bunch of shellshocked SURVIVOR contestants to listen to him sing "Lose Yourself" right before they begin shooting the season?? I think they should've filmed this and it should've been the opening of the season. I think it should've been the opening title sequence of the season, week after week Probst singing "Lose Yourself".

Season's still early so not much to talk about. "Redemption Island" doesn't even kick in until next week. Russell already seems to be losing it—made worse by him NOT finding the hidden immunity idol—but the teaser for next week seems to imply that he's about to shake shit up so who knows. I'm still amazed he made it to the end of his last season. Thing is, he seems to be playing the exact same game that he's played for two seasons in a row... and this is the first season where his fellow players know he's shady... so I hope he's got some magic tricks left under his hat.

Redemption Island

Looks like SURVIVOR followed my suggestion from last year and have created a Boston Rob versus Russell Hantz edition.

One episode down. This one looks infinitely better than last season's Nicaragua run.

Here's the thing: with the addition of "Redemption Island", where voted-out contestants have a chance to compete in challenges and return to the fold, I don't see how there's any way to defeat Rob!

Rob is the hardest overall player in the game. He excels at physical challenges, puzzle challenges and strategy. Blind-siding him is extremely difficult—but even if you can manage it, he's now gonna come back at you with everything he's got. We haven't even seen the Redemption Island challenges/duels, but my money is on Rob beating them handily.

I've got special affection for Russell as a player, because he's insane. His game is so much riskier than Rob's. I think it's amazing that he made it to the end TWICE in a row. This is the first season he's playing wherein all his fellow players know who he is up front, so we'll see if he can change up his strategy.

Oh, and Probst has a website.