Average American Male

I was at the gym Thursday and this girl was on the elliptical next to mine, and about halfway through my set her iPod fell on my right sneaker.

Literally fell on my sneaker. One of those newer iPod shuffles, the size of a stamp.

I paused. Bent down, retrieved the iPod and turned toward her. It's hard to get a good look at the person working out right next to you without being too obvious. But I had her iPod shuffle, which gave me an excuse to look at her directly. I didn't bother taking my earbuds out, so for all intents and purposes I was deaf. But she was quite pretty and I smiled at her as I returned her iPod—and she smiled back a little sheepishly. And we had that moment.

A moment that dissipated. Because I still had a good half an hour to go before I'd even consider pulling my earbuds out.

Couldn't find her when I got done. Not that I had any game plan if I did find her.

After the gym, I went to hang out at Starbucks, which has been my routine the entirety of the past week. SPF gave me a $25 Starbucks gift certificate at the beginning of the summer, and my aim's been to use it all up this week.

So I go to Starbucks and I read about 2 pages of a book over the course of about 45 minutes. Reading the same paragraph over and over because I am so distracted by the parade of pretty women. A pretty woman walks in—or walks by the window—and I take a moment to imagine the entirety of my life with her before the next pretty woman wanders by. And I steal my glance.

And I talk to no one. For all they know, I am completely enraptured by the book I seem to be reading. And thusly, Malice remains alone for the remainder of his days...

"You are sooo gonna die alone," yawped the Gay Horse.

Galaxy of Emptiness Shuffled 5:
1. "All of My Love", Led Zeppelin
2. "Take the Picture Off", RJD2
3. "Ensurance Trap", Michael Andrews
4. "Celebration", Kanye West
5. "Suzy Lee", The White Stripes
Lonely Bonus:
"Galaxy of Emptiness", Beth Orton




Goodbye, August—don't let the door hit yer erse on the way out, you fucking nutter!

Wake me up when September's got some good news for me, yeh...?