Feeling calm and rested after a semi-decent night of sleep (for me), and the thought floats into my head: I could use a drink right now.
But no. No drinking on work mornings! I'm simply that disciplined.
The past month or two, I've gone from severe bender to... gentle bender. Functional bender.
In a few minutes, I'll be off to the gym to get in a mild workout before a long day at a job I don't like. When I get the OK to leave at the end of the day, I will fly out of there and get myself a drink. A little over 12 hours from now, I will be nursing a drink and THAT is what I'm looking forward to.
I need to try to steer clear of the Facebook news feed. Even after blocking everyone I need to block, it's still jammed with posts that seem specifically designed to make me feel bad. Better social lives, better careers, better homes, better families. I'm sorry I don't have a newborn I'm excited to race home to at the end of the day. My joy is that glass of whiskey to soothe my nerves when I get home.
I'm better, by small increments. I'm trying, by small increments.